baserinstincts

Alone but Not Lonely

Alone (adj.) – 1. Being apart from others; solitary.
2. Being without anyone or anything else; only

Lonely (adj.) – 1. Without companions; lone
2. Dejected by the awareness of being alone

(definitions taken from The Free Dictionary)

I began to think about this when a guy friend at work suggested I get a new boyfriend.

I was all but disgusted by the suggestion.

I’ve been enjoying my freedom and independence so much since the aftermath of the-breakup-that-took-way-too-long-to-happen.

My coworker mentioned something about me wanting to be lonely and that he couldn’t understand why.

Crazy Eights full

After this, I firmly corrected him.

“I am alone,” I say. “But never lonely.”

The Faculty movies He was thinking of the situation in overly simplistic terms, a flaw that unfortunately ails most men. He deduced, logically yet incorrectly, that if I didn’t have someone in my life then it could only follow that I was lonely.

I broke it down to him like this.

Loneliness occurs when you feel the absence of Other.

Aloneness occurs when you feel the presence of Self.

Corsets Are Cool

Image via Wikipedia

I decided I’m in the market for a corset. I’d always admired this article of clothing. I’d seen it on women numerous times but never dared to want one for myself.

I’m over it now.

I was fooling around online and looking at designs. So far, I really like the stuff at Absolute Corsets.

Of course, I’m sure I have to get mine custom made in order to do right by my girls, but these are the styles that have moved me so far.

The color on this one is amazing:

I love the design and plunging neckline on this one:

And if I’m feeling particularly naughty, I’ll throw in a corset dress like this:

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A Room of One's Own – Addendum

A week or two ago, I was talking about my experiences shacking up Dead Man’s Cards film .

It seems that in addition to not being able to hold onto a man, I can’t even keep my pets.

A little over a week ago, Ramses, my cat, jumped out of the window.

Right now you probably don’t see the relevance but stay with me here because this is very telling.

When I brought Ramses home, I had gone almost a year without a cat. For as long as I can remember I’ve had cats, up to five at once at one point.

Snookums, my baby, is residing with my mother currently. When I moved out I had every intention of bringing her with me, and I did. However after about a year in this apartment, which is quite small, I could tell that Snookums was bored and missed the space of my mother’s big house and the yard and the other pets.

When the ex and I went on vacation last summer, I brought her to my mom’s for safekeeping and feeding. When I returned, I decided it was best to leave her there. I felt like a mother who’d just given her child up for adoption, but it was what was best for Snookums.

And as you know, a few months later, the ex was gone too.

I was truly alone.

About a month ago I get a call from my mom saying that yet another cat has appeared on her doorstep and refused to leave (see the cats on the neighborhood talk to one another, they say “go to 622, they always take in strays”). She said she didn’t think the house could survive another cat (Ramses would have made the sixth, in addition to three dogs and a gerbil) and begged me to come pick him up.

I agreed but by the time I got there, my sister

had already fallen in love with him and said I couldn’t have him (younger siblings, they’re such brats).

The next day my sister sends me a text message saying that Snookums and Mustache, hitherto mortal enemies, have united against the newcomer and that in order to save his life she has decided to let me have him.

I went to get him the next day. He was gorgeous. Sleek, black and sporting a pair of the biggest balls I’d ever seen on a cat (and no I wasn’t looking but they were hard to miss). He had a huge appetite and would soon have eaten me out of house and home.

In the second part of my post I likened my romantic nature to that of a cat’s saying:

I am at heart the cat. The loving yet fiercely independent cat that will rub against your feet, let you feed me and stroke me, make you think I adore you.

And then dash out as soon as you open the door to roam around the block.

I may return, and then again I may not.

And then a couple of days later the cat was gone.

It was if I had written it into existence.

My sister was pissed.

I had opened the window to get some fresh air in the apartment. Ten minutes later I couldn’t find Ramses.

My sister and I walked around the block looking for him but you won’t ever find a cat if he doesn’t want you to.

I hoped wherever he was he wasn’t hurt and was getting fed but I wasn’t as upset as I expected myself to be.

It was hard getting used to having another being in the place albeit a non-human one.

Suddenly, I had to worry about whether he was getting enough food, if his litter box was clean, getting him neutered, him pissing on my couch etc.

He wanted lots of attention. I wanted to write.

I slept at night, he didn’t.

And he did this annoying thing where he’d run around the place like a maniac and knock shit over.

He chewed on my plants.

As adorable as he was, his sudden presence in my life was quite trying at times.

Maybe he picked up on that. Or maybe he wanted to run away before I had his balls cut and he’s just fucking his way around the neighborhood. Whatever the reason, he saw his chance and dashed out the way I’d done many times before and will do again.

I can’t even be mad at him.

Maybe he’ll come back.

Or not.

Cock Rings – A User's Guide

Cock ring or cockring (n)

• The Dark move

– a ring that is placed around a man’s penis, usually at the base, primarily to slow the flow of blood from the erect penile tissue, thus maintaining erection for longer. Cock rings can be worn around just the penis or penis and scrotum, or just the scrotum alone, though this is usually designated as a testicle cuff. (via Wikipedia

)

Cock rings are not just for those with erectile dysfunction. More and more men are getting into the idea of sex toys (a good thing) and a cock ring is a good place to start. Especially since they can be used alone (to enhance a good wank) or with a partner.

Personally, I’ve had many a positive experience with cock rings. They’re a lifesaver when you want to keep a man’s ego (and other parts) from “deflating”. They also provide a different sensation. While I love a flesh and blood penis, they can’t always give the resistance of a good glass, metal or wooden one. When paired with a cock ring however, the flesh and blood penis takes on a newer, stiffer feel.

Cock rings are made from several different types of material. These include leather, nylon, metal, rubber or silicone. I personally really like the silicone variety. There are also cock rings that vibrate or house a vibrating bullet designed to provide the female with extra clitoral stimulation. I’ve had no luck with these so if anyone knows of a really good one, let me know in the comments.

For safety’s sake, don’t wear your cock ring too tight or for too long. If your balls start to feel funny (numb, cold etc.) take it off. Also, if you have cardiovascular problems or are taking blood thinning medications, you probably shouldn’t play around with one of these.

The Dark

Channeling Jessica Rabbit

The day before I got invited to pose for this calendar, I weighed in at 190 pounds.

I wasn’t expecting to see much less than that. I had been flirting with the 200 pound mark for some time now, but at 190, those flirtations just got that much more heated.

Posing scantily clad for a calendar? I admit there was a time when such a prospect would scare the shit out of me.

But not now.

As women, it seems we’re destined to struggle with our bodies in one way or another. We seem to always want to change ourselves. While there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be fitter and healthier, I find that such changes are better and longer lasting when you come from a place of self love rather than self loathing.

I eventually just gave up the idea that there was something wrong with me. I gave myself permission to roll a little here or sag a little there.

Because sexy is not at all about what number the scale registers. It’s about how you work what you’ve got.

That being said, I always felt a weird affinity with Jessica Rabbit. I dressed up as her for senior pride back in high school. I use her as my avatar when I don’t want to use my picture. It only seemed right that I interpret her in this calendar project.

I saw Jessica and I as having a lot in common. Besides the tendency to pop out of our dresses, we were both misjudged because of how we looked.

In the film Jessica, because of the way she was built and because she was just so damned sexy was immediately thought to be a shrewish and unfaithful wife. In reality she wasn’t and went to great lengths to protect her rabbit husband. We all remember her famous quip, “I’m not bad I’m just drawn that way”, but there was another part in the movie where she confesses to Valiant, “you have no idea how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do.”

I know how you feel, sister.

Because I was similarly “stacked”, I had a hell of a time during my school days. Wearing a C cup by the time I was twelve and still growing fast, I was constantly harassed by classmates, male and female alike.

To the guys I was an object, a walking pair of breasts. To the girls I was a slut, plain and simple (which really was laughable because they were all fucking way before I was).

Any big breasted woman can tell you, we get a bad rap for no other reason than we were given a little extra.

What was awesome about Jessica Rabbit was that instead of trying to hide it (as if she could hide those things even if she tried) she just owned it, braving all the looks and snide comments. She just continued to be who she was.

I learned this lesson the hard way myself after spending five grand on a breast reduction operation only to have them grow back within a few years. My girls were sending me a message. “We’re here to stay”, they seemed to be telling me, and finally, I’m at peace with that. I want to celebrate that.

I know it’s a little loony because she’s a cartoon, but Jessica Rabbit is one of my heroes and I plan to do right by her in this calendar.

Of course you’ll have to buy one in order  to see my tribute…

Drag Me to Hell download

See? Even Oprah does it.

I didn’t actually see this episode (although I have seen past episodes on which Dr. Northrup was a guest… love her) but I did catch this short summary on Huff.

The Beguiled film I think it’s about time Oprah covered a topic like this (and you know once Oprah says she’s doing it, everybody will be doing it as well… which is a good thing by the way).

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Lamentations of Post-Breakup Cohabitation

Flashback.

The scene: my apartment, two weeks after the big break up, sometime back in November.

This post break up cohabitation has officially become unbearable.

After my onlining, I took a nice long hot shower and then turned on Dancing with the Stars.

I was feeling quite amourous especially since one of those male dancers was particularly hot. It was as good a time as any for my daily self loving episode.

So I dry off, plug in Mr. Hitachi,and get going.

I was having a blast, my arousal moving from a 3 to about a 6 in only a few minutes. And then… a rather angry banging on the door.

I looked over at my beloved BlackBerry (perpetually on silent) and see it lighting up. I swore loudly realizing it was Gus at the door.

The downstairs lock had been changed recently and I never bothered to cut him a copy of the new key because he was moving out in a couple of weeks anyway.

I pick up the phone to yell at him that I’m coming down to let him in. I usually unlock the door right before I know he’ll be arriving but this time he was home a full hour early.

I got up, got dressed and put away my electronic lover before going to let him in.

Fuck!

I can’t even masturbate in peace anymore.

Quick Change movie

HNT – Tickle Me

Ah, cleavage. Happy Half Nekkid Thursday everyone!

• Brick trailer

Outsource your sex life Part 2 (the extreme makeover edition)

I admit that I thought that scene in Bladerunner  (when Harrison Ford violently and passionately makes out with the robot chick) was very hot.

I also admit that sometimes I feel cheated by futuristic movies like Bladerunner.

It’s the year 2008 already. Where are the flying cars? The push button houses?

Films like this certainly had me thinking the world would be a lot more… well… futuristic by now.

And then I came across this article and bit my tongue.

Well the upside is, you can now have everything you’ve always wanted in a man (and when you change your mind, you can change him too).

The downside is that he won’t exactly be a man, no matter how much he looks and acts like one (ahem, Bladerunner, and now I’m thinking all sorts of creepy thoughts that look like a cross between The Matrix and a bad porno).

I for one hope I’m never that hard up.

And I wonder what this implies for the future of sex workers.

Could the world’s oldest profession actually be rendered obsolete?

• El Cartel

Link Lovin'

Babeland: Design Your Own STD Prevention Underwear – Because loves do need instructions and safe sex is important. But the best prat about this post is the cute video. And who doesn’t love a contest?

Urban Gypsy: Adventures in Dermablend Vicky Cristina Barcelona rip – From one busty chick to another. The story is funny and the pics are great.

Sex in the Public Square: The Sex Commons Wiki – I think it’s a wonderful idea.

Naked City: Porn for Women, Please – A great article for women who are into porn but underwhelmed by their current options.

Boinkology: What Makes a “Promiscuous” Girl – The word “slut” traditionally has very negative connotations. Some choose to redefine the word for themselves. Lots of lively discussion going on here.