baserinstincts

Another Good Reason to Wrap it Up

Because these cool posters tell you to.

Where were these posters when I was in school?

Well, that certainly is one way to drive the point home.

If you want to purchase these prints, click here.

The Way To a Man’s Heart – A Play in One Act

ACT ONE

THE SCENE: I am lying on my bed one sunny Sunday afternoon talking to a guy on the phone. We agreed he was going to come over that night. At present the conversation is lingering on the topic of some cupcakes I’d promised him some weeks ago (one of the things we had in common, a persistent, insatiable sweet tooth). I am trying to beg off making the cupcakes using various excuses i.e. too hot to bake, don’t have the right ingredients etc.

ME: Cupcakes or cookies? You’ll have to pick one.

HIM: Well then, I guess you’ll only get one orgasm.

(Yeah, he was a cocky son of a bitch.  And rightfully so, as I’d find out later.)

ME: Wait the original deal was cupcakes for a rubdown. We’re just substituting cookies for cupcakes. Terms for sex haven’t been named yet.

HIM: We’re not negotiating sex, we’re negotiating multiple orgasms.

(And he was a smart ass. I was getting more and more turned on.)

ME: Touche. Glad you made the distinction. Ok so how about we substitute breakfast for cupcakes.

HIM: I could do that.

ME: Standard egg breakfast good for you?

HIM: Yes. I like my eggs dry and well browned.

ME: Two eggs scrambled and dry. Got it. Meat?

HIM: Three eggs. Not really a fan of bacon and sausage. Toast ?

ME: What kind of toast?

HIM: Wheat?

ME: Sprouted grain.

HIM: OK.

ME: One slice or two?

HIM: Two

ME: Jam or butter?

HIM: Jam or peanut butter is good if you have some.

ME: I have. One slice jam and one peanut butter. Any particular flavor jam?

HIM: Do you have blackberry?

ME: No. Strawberry, Raspberry, Wild Maine Blueberry, Apricot, Champagne Rose, and Fig.

(He was a fussy eater. A pet peeve of mine but I could forgive that. It had been more that half a year and if somone didn’t fuck me soon, I was convinced I would perish.)

HIM: I’ll bring some.

ME: Fine by me. Coffee or juice?

HIM: I like juice. Orange or pineapple would be nice.

ME: I like orange. Butter or oil in the skillet?

(I was making fun of him at this point but he didn’t notice.)

HIM: Do you have PAM?

ME: Don’t use PAM but I have canola oil spray. Milk or cheese in your eggs?

HIM: No diary but salt and pepper. Maybe even some onions or garlic…

(I cut him off, inches away from annoyance)
ME: We’ll see.

HIM: Okay so call me when you get out of the movies.

ME: Sure.

I hung up and shook my head.

ME (to self): This had better be some damn good…

Link Lovin’

FUNKYBROWNCHICK – How to Love a Submissive Man – ‘Cuz I sure loves me some!

Beautiful and Depraved – Sasha Grey on the Beauty of Blow Jobs – Unabashed and unapologetic

Newsweek – It’s Hotter Away From Home – I’m about due for a vacation.

Huffington Post – Why Housework Will Get You Some – I can attest to this.

Tango – How to Be a Better Kisser – I totally agree with the notion that kissing can be more intimate than sex. I reserve kissing for the extra special.

Jezebel – Unicorns, Easy-Bake Ovens, and Vibrators, Or: I Believe In The Radical Possibilities Of Pleasure – Of for the days of my Easy-Bake Oven. What ever happened to that thing? Anyway, I agree wholeheartedlt that there are many things that don’t suck about being a woman.

HNT- Nightie Night

One of my favorite nighties. I love the feel of the satin and the laces up the side.

Here’s to good night’s sleep. Happy Half Nekkid Thursday everyone!