baserinstincts

“Pay No Attention To That Man Behind The Curtain”

August 26, 2008 on 12:09 pm | In Uncategorized | 21 Comments

Allow me to rant.

My sister and I got into this discussion after watching the movie The Man Who Cried.

We were pissed because movies tend to perpetuate these portrayals of love and relationships that are a total crock.

They give an especially unrealistic view of men and sex.

Their male characters are perfectly infallible and one hundred percent consistent, don’t show an ounce of weakness and give absolutely perfect and not at all awkward sex all while being super duper hot.

We all want the same man (insert random totally unrealistic male film character here) but he doesn’t exist.

Exhibit A:

Just about any Johnny Depp character will do but we’ll go with his portrayal of Don Juan DeMarco, world’s greatest lover, for emphasis. Ignore the fact that he’s dressed like it’s Halloween.

Know any guys like that?

Exhibit B:

“Nobody puts Baby in the corner” Classic example.

Know any guys like this?

Exhibit C:

The reigning king of cinematic tragic romance…

Know any guys like that one? Even close? Didn’t think so.

Love songs are no better.

The songs tell you “you’ll always be my endless love” but most times what you really get is “bitches ain’t shit but hos and tricks”.

I remember visiting my ex’s parents out West. There was a large group of us at breakfast and my ex was lovingly telling the story of how we met. He ended the vignette by saying..”a match made in heaven”. I tried to catch myself before I made the face but the reaction was immediate. “Sometimes” I said in rebuttal. An uncle of his just laughed and said to me that there probably isn’t a woman on earth that thinks men are wonderfully infallible. “We’re screwing something up about every hour,” he said and went on to say that he admired the female gender’s patience with the men.

In general, I think that what people tend to expect form relationships and from their partners is just too much. Ordinary people aren’t always perfect and consistant. They’re not always considerate. They don’t always know what you want to need before you tell them and even if they do, who’s to say they’re capable or even willing to deliver it.

We are all of us searching for idealized version of human beings that none of us can possible live up to.

Try this. Accept your partner for who he or she is. I mean really, really look. Don’t try to rationalize and explain away their behavior. Just observe it. This is your partner. When people show you over and over again who they are, do yourself a favor and believe them. Don’t try to invent someone else. That person you invented is not there.

Just a man behind a curtain.