baserinstincts

e[lust] #8

HNT Courtesy of Blue-Eyed Vixen

Welcome to e[lust] - your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #9? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

This Isn’t Play. . . BDSM and Rape – The very basic principle that we hold so dear in BDSM play, “Nothing without consent” seems to stand in stark contrast to a very common form of play, “Rape Play”.

Half-Full – When I get my ass beaten, is it as much for the sensation as it is for the “Good girl…I knew you could take that for me.” that I want so badly at the close of the scene?

House Party Part 2 -His wife walked by at one point and he cryptically asked her to “do what she did to so-and-so earlier”. His wife disappeared behind me, but I felt her hands touching me and his cock as it entered me.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Backseat Orgasms - We kissed lightly and without focus, both a sensual act and maddening at the same time. More, I needed more. In a blur I was on my knees on the seat, straddling his leg, his mouth latched onto one nipple and his fingers hunting for the key to undoing my dress pants.

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

Are You Watching Me? – A plan of devious proportions begins to form. Before this is over with, I will have forced you into a corner…forced you to act…forced you to give ME what I want.

See also: Pleasurists #64 and 65 for all your sex toy review needs.

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Erotic Writing

A story of FL
Contemplation
Cuddling
Floor Exercises
Good day for a milking
Goodbye
G-Spot Orgasms Galore – Part 2
Initiation
Logan
Mark. Confession #423
Mouth
Nothing says I love you quite like…
Playful and Dangerous
Play your part
Plotter
Splish Splash
The Library Hotel
The Secret I Couldn’t Keep
Triple X
Three A.M. Surprise

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Anatomy of Desire (PT. Two)
Better Cautious Than Raped
Lingerie Tales Vol 1 An Obsession Begins
My life as a gamer’s slave
Perplexed
Saturday Texting
So Simple
The Elusive Female Orgasm
The G Spot Mouse or How To Make A Woman Squirt
Transtastic: On Language

Kink & Fetish

A No Limits Slave?
Are Discipline and Punishment The Same?
BDSM Advice Series: Pet Play
Bondage 101—Part 1: Bondage Basics
Breaking the Demons
Dark/DirtyBlog Crush
Factory Doll
Hand vs. toys
I’m on a book cover: ‘The Punishment List’ by Abel
Kink
Men as sex objects
Rough Porn
Raleigh and La Fortress
Savouring the texture of my skin with his teeth
The Way They Look At Me
The Slut Chronicles #13 ~ The Auction
Whither the spankosphere?

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Happy Valentines Day!
Hookers, Catholic School Students and Facebook
Lane Bryant Makes Puppies and Kittens Cry
Pussy Cosmetics and Vagina Myths

Sex in Movies – Secretary

This is not a sex scene in the traditional sense of the word but it is easily the sexiest scene in the movie.

The thing that makes this scene so hot is that even though Mr. What’s-His-Name can sense that Lee is a sub, he really had no idea how she would ultimately react to his special brand of “punishment”. Still, he does not ask consent.

I love the look on her face after the first blow. She’s surprised, she’s taken aback, she’s confused. She’s supposed to be pissed, to be calling the cops, but she’s not.

Instead she’s really fucking turned on! (And so was I after watching it).

Enjoy!

Secretary

How The Venus Flytrap Really Got Its Name

I’m not even sure how I got to thinking about this topic, but it was probably due to a combination of watching The Bachelor: Women Tell All special last night and a discussion of  deconstructionist literary criticism in class today.

I know they seem unrelated, but stay with me here.

The Bachelor tell-all special was as ridiculous as I expected it to be (ridiculous though it may be, I like the show, don’t judge me) there was one particular point of interest, and it was that of the whole Roslyn sex scandal.

I’ll give a very brief summary. The show puts 25 women in a big house and they compete for the affections and engagement ring of  one one supposedly successful and ruggedly handsome bachelor. This season there were many controversies but the one that stood out the most was that one of the contestants, for lack of a better term, Roslyn, was kicked off the show because of an alleged inappropriate relationship with one the of shows former producers. I say former because he was fired. On the special, Roslyn was brought out to defend herself against these allegations, and it seemed she couldn’t complete a sentence without any one of the other women ripping her a new one, saying they saw this and they saw that and calling her a liar and judging her.

It was entertaining to say the least but I found myself wondering what the big deal was. So what if she slept with a producer of the show? In my mind, the other housemates were upset because Roslyn went out and got hers while the rest of them continued to compete for one man in the hopes of getting some.

Actually, Roslyn is starting to sound kind of smart.

But this tweet (actually, the clever hash tag) summed up what I was thinking way better than I could at the time.

Bingo! Cultural fear of female sexuality.

Making sense now?

We’re getting to the flytrap.

The Venus flytrap is a carnivorous plant that traps and digests small insects. It’s a houseplant really, but looks more ominous because of the hairs that line it’s leaves and inner portions. They resemble sharp teeth. In short, the Venus flytrap is not to be fucked with. See the video below for evidence.

But why Venus flytrap? Why not call it the shark plant or something like that? Kinda looks like Jaws, if you ask me.

Let’s explain this by first understanding Venus herself. Yes, Venus is the second planet from the sun but the name also refers to the Roman goddess of love and beauty. Theory number one on how the Venus flytrap got it’s name is that the plant itself resembles the clam shell pictured in The Birth of Venus painted by Boticelli. Or because the flowers are really beautiful, or something like that.

The Birth of Venus

Um,  but I don’t really buy that one.

Let’s look closer.

Mr. Sigmund biology-is-destiny Freud, the father of modern psychology has some cooky interesting theories about sex organs. The theory of penis envy is one we all know well. I’d need a whole other post to express what I think about penis envy so I won’t discuss it here. But I will talk about castration anxiety. Castration anxiety, according to fraud Freud is the unconscious fear in men that they will one day lose their penis. When the young male first becomes aware of the difference in male and female genitalia, he assumes that the female’s penis has somehow been removed. He then worries that his penis will similarly be “cut off”, likely but his father; his arch nemesis according to Oedipal theories.

Now, as with penis envy, we’re speaking figuratively here. Men don’t necessarily fear physically losing their penis as they do fear losing what their penis represents (as evidenced in this year’s Superbowl ads). Just as women don’t necessarily want to have a physical penis, just the power that the penis represents.

And just how, you ask, does a man lose his penis?

Cherchez la femme.

The term vagina dentata literally translates to “toothed vagina” in Latin. It basically serves to warn men to be careful about where they stick their willies. Now, I’m sure most men don’t really think that there are razor sharp teeth in women’s vaginas that will lop their dicks off if they fuck them (or with them), although one could only imagine how different the world would be if that were true. However, many do fear losing something by becoming attached to a vagina.

Now let’s bring it home.

Look closely at our little Venus flytrap here. What does it look like? It’s not reaching to say that the plant resembles a vagina. And if we extend our understanding of Venus to mean a symbol for anything feminine, well then we can see what the man or men (for undoubtedly they were) who came up with that clever little name were really trying to say; that the vagina is a trap of some sort and something to be feared and avoided, and if not, controlled.

Hmmm. Sounds curiously like the state of women’s sexual and reproductive rights in the year 2010.

See, nothing’s really changed has it?

Bachelor Brouhaha

Look, everyone has their guilty pleasures.

Mine happen to be sweets, Vin Diesel,  and trashy television (in that order).

That said, I’ll be live blogging The Bachelor tonight at 8 pm. Tune in!

Not-So-NYC Sex Blogger Calendar

reposted from sexbloggercalendar.com

Amazing artwork, Map of Canada and the US,  by Oupelay on DeviantArt, please check out the rest of his fantastic gallery.

You’ve just flipped the January  page on your 2010 Sex Blogger Calendar, whispered a fond farewell to the lovely Mia Martina, and greeted the awesome Abiola Abrams, who graces February’s page, and here I am about to talk to you about 2011.  If it seems early to you, you’re not alone; it seems early to me too.  But 2011 is going to be a bigger and better year, hopefully for all of us, and certainly for this amazing project that started as a whim, a fun project with friends that would benefit our sex positive community, one balmy summer night.

Many of you, after seeing our fabulous calendar or coming to our kick-ass launch party, expressed an interest in being a model.  We heard you and we want to give you the opportunity to be even more involved.  So for 2011, we’re going NATIONAL!  Yes, you heard it right, the NYC SexBlogger Calendar wants to be even more inclusive in 2011.  We want any sex positive blogger/internet personality - male, female, gay, straight, queer, trans, any race, any orientation, any size - who writes/podcasts/video blogs about sex or sexuality to feel free to submit a photo.  While our 2010 models are free to submit a photo, we’d like nothing better than to get thirteen brand new faces and their accompanying hot bods. I’ll get into those details in a moment, but that’s not the only change we’ve made.

For the last two years, the calendar proceeds have gone to Sex Work Awareness and allowed them to fund Speak Up!, a one day seminar in 2009 that expanded to a weekend in 2010.  We are so proud to have provided the funding for those events.  Megan Andelloux, in her fight with the town of Pawtucket, RI to open her adult sex education facility, The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health, used the training she received last year which helped her win battle and CSPH is now open for business. This year, we’re thrilled to announce that the funds raised by the calendar will go to Woodhull Freedom Foundation. Woodhull Freedom Foundation Affirms SexualFreedom as a Fundamental Human Right!

We’ve known of and been supportive of WFF but when we met and talked with the board members and advisory committee of WFF at their fundraiser, a diverse group including the fabulous Carol Queen, we were really impressed with them, their professionalism and their goals.  WFF has a broader focus than SWA and we want our little calendar to benefit all kinds of sexual freedom.  In changing core attitudes, defining sexual freedom as a basic human right, sex workers too will reap benefits.

Now, how do you submit a photo and what is expected if we pick you to be in the 2011 calendar?

First, you email us one or more professional quality photo that represents what sexual freedom means to you or how you express your sexual freedom.  The photo is to be 12 x 12 (this is SQUARE, people, be sure to let the photographer know this in advance of shooting, most photos are rectangular, so the photographer has to look with a different eye in order to shoot for square artwork).   The format will be CMYK, 12 x 12 full bleed, 300 DPIx 12 full bleed image. If you’d like to discuss concepts before working with a photographer, please email me at Tess@tiedupevents.com

Along with your photo, please send a short bio and a short (or long, if you’re feeling particularly verbose on the topic) post talking about how your photo represents your sexual freedom.  We would like all entrants to be able to attend our launch party on November 5, 201o in NYC, this is one reason we’re giving you all so much notice, so that plans can be hatched and funds reserved.  You’ll be required to post a button on your site that links to the calendar blog and once chosen, we’ll provide a special button for models.

Because we want to also support our economy as well as our fundamental right to sexual freedom, despite our difficulties last year, we are committed to printing the calendar in the US of A, we’re not sure how much nudity we can get away with.  If you feel like baring it all, we’re right there with you but we also need to be realistic about what we can get printed, so please give us some softer options.  Last year, the mere sight of nipples in two photos caused a printer, even in this economy, to turn down the job.

Please include in your email any suggestions you have for promoting the calendar and WFF on your site -contests, etc. Working with us in promoting the calendar is an important component of being a part of this project.

Submissions must be received by May 1, 2010.

More details will follow and we’ll post the Photo Submission Guidelines on a separate page so you can review them easily.

In the meantime, if you’d be so kind as to repost this far and wide, from sea to shining sea, we’d be most appreciative.  Let’s get everyone who believes that sexual freedom is a fundamental human right talking and participating in this project and sharing in the fun with us.

The 50’s Are Back on The Bachelor

image via e online

There are many things wrong with this show before we even get to what happened last night. Chief among these are its perpetuation of an impossible fairy tale paradigm in relationships, its dramatization of what’s supposed to be a quest for true love, it’s focus on the shallower aspects of love, its seeming to take the issue of marriage so lightly, and its placing its couples in circumstances that aren’t reflective of real life.

I mean, I can go on and on here.

But I don’t judge or start a public outcry simply because the show happens to be one of my guilty pleasures. I view it as entertainment and not in any way indicative of the real world.

But last night’s show went somewhere that really pissed me off.

There are four girls left and the Bachelor, Jake has just finished visiting each of the girls’ hometowns and meeting with their families. The day of the rose ceremony comes around and one of the girls, Allie (admittedly my least favorite of the girls left) comes a’knocking on Jake’s door in tears. She sits down and tells him that she has a choice to make between staying there with him and going back to work.

Read: “I’m going to get fired if I stay here any longer.”

Now let me give a quick tutorial to those who aren’t familiar with the premise of the show.  The show picks a male or female each season who is supposedly looking for the love of his or her life. The show chooses from presumably thousands of contestants and picks around 25 men or women and places them all in a house and essentially the compete for the Bachelor or Bachelorette’s affections. At the end of each show the Bachelor or Bachelorette sends a person or persons home and at the end of the season there are two left standing. The Bachelor or Bachelorette then chooses between the two and gets engaged to that person.

I’ll wait for you to finish laughing.

Now at the time Allie drops this news, she’s left with three other girls, meaning she only has a 25 percent chance of ending up with Jake’s ring on her finger. She’s devastated saying she has to choose between the man she loves and the job she loves. She asks Jake to help her with the decision (read: “please tell me you’re gonna pick me”) and Jake says rather cautiously, “I can’t look at you and tell you for sure that I’m going to put a ring on your finger at the end of all this. But I also can’t tell you I’m not going to do that”

Noncommittal much?

I’m sure that helped a lot, Jake.

But in a way you can’t fault him because he has four sorta beautiful girls two steps from ripping each other’s throats out in order to be the last one standing, and as far as I can tell (read: as far as Jake’s acting has lead me to believe) he has roughly equal amounts of affection for all four. So of course he doesn’t want to reassure Allie.

Allie bawls and balws and when the rose ceremony comes around, she asks to speak to Jake in private and she bawls some more. Jake then tells her repeatedly that he doesn’t want her to go.

Hold the fuck up!

So this girl is supposed to give up her career (and let me just say here that in this economy the girl is beyond blessed to have ANY job much less one in her field and one that she enjoys) for a fucking maybe?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that Jake should have stopped the show and told Allie that he was going to marry her. But the stand up thing would have been to tell her she should go home and go back to work.

For starters, do you think a man would ever let a woman come between him and his carrer? No matter how much he loved her?

Secondly, since when is it cool to let someone give up their life to be with you when you aren’t one hundred percent prepared to do the same? Suppose she stayed. And lost her job. And then Jake decided that what he really wants is to marry Vienna. Egg on your face doesn’t even begin to describe it. And he’d be ok with that because in the end, well, it was Allie who made the choice to stay.

Third, has Jake ever heard of a telephone? Email? Twitter? If he cares so much for this girl then letting her give up her career might not be the best way to show it. So what if she goes back home? If he misses her,  then he can call her. I doubt ABC will sue.

But what’s really got my goat is that the scenario once again reinforces the notion that women have to make a choice that men just aren’t forced to make in our society. We are constantly split between going out and making out way in the public domain and holding it down in the private domain.

And here it is again. Allie can either be a career woman or she can be a wife.

Have I suddenly landed in the 1950’s?

Would Jake give up flying planes for Allie, or for any one of them for that matter? Hell no! Would we expect him to? Hell no!

So why does Allie have to give up a part of herself for a man who may not even choose her in the end? For love? That special reality TV brand of love? Give me a break.

And I, for one, would not at all be surprised if woman who suddenly finds herself aimless in life ends up being decidedly less attractive to our little Bachelor.

In the end, Allie went home.

I was so glad. I think she did the right thing. She said to him “if you were mine it’d be a different story, the choice would be easy”

You got it all wrong girlfriend.

If he was yours, really yours, you shouldn’t have had to make a choice in the first place.