baserinstincts

Alone but Not Lonely

Alone (adj.) - 1. Being apart from others; solitary.
2. Being without anyone or anything else; only

Lonely (adj.) - 1. Without companions; lone
2. Dejected by the awareness of being alone

(definitions taken from The Free Dictionary)

I began to think about this when a guy friend at work suggested I get a new boyfriend.

I was all but disgusted by the suggestion.

I’ve been enjoying my freedom and independence so much since the aftermath of the-breakup-that-took-way-too-long-to-happen.

My coworker mentioned something about me wanting to be lonely and that he couldn’t understand why.

After this, I firmly corrected him.

“I am alone,” I say. “But never lonely.”

He was thinking of the situation in overly simplistic terms, a flaw that unfortunately ails most men. He deduced, logically yet incorrectly, that if I didn’t have someone in my life then it could only follow that I was lonely.

I broke it down to him like this.

Loneliness occurs when you feel the absence of Other.

Aloneness occurs when you feel the presence of Self.