I decided I’m in the market for a corset. I’d always admired this article of clothing. I’d seen it on women numerous times but never dared to want one for myself.

I’m over it now.

I was fooling around online and looking at designs. So far, I really like the stuff at Absolute Corsets.

Of course, I’m sure I have to get mine custom made in order to do right by my girls, but these are the styles that have moved me so far.

The color on this one is amazing:

I love the design and plunging neckline on this one:

And if I’m feeling particularly naughty, I’ll throw in a corset dress like this:

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All I can say is wow.

Cock ring or cockring (n) - a ring that is placed around a man’s penis, usually at the base, primarily to slow the flow of blood from the erect penile tissue, thus maintaining erection for longer. Cock rings can be worn around just the penis or penis and scrotum, or just the scrotum alone, though this is usually designated as a testicle cuff. (via Wikipedia)

Cock rings are not just for those with erectile dysfunction. More and more men are getting into the idea of sex toys (a good thing) and a cock ring is a good place to start. Especially since they can be used alone (to enhance a good wank) or with a partner.

Personally, I’ve had many a positive experience with cock rings. They’re a lifesaver when you want to keep a man’s ego (and other parts) from “deflating”. They also provide a different sensation. While I love a flesh and blood penis, they can’t always give the resistance of a good glass, metal or wooden one. When paired with a cock ring however, the flesh and blood penis takes on a newer, stiffer feel.

Cock rings are made from several different types of material. These include leather, nylon, metal, rubber or silicone. I personally really like the silicone variety. There are also cock rings that vibrate or house a vibrating bullet designed to provide the female with extra clitoral stimulation. I’ve had no luck with these so if anyone knows of a really good one, let me know in the comments.

For safety’s sake, don’t wear your cock ring too tight or for too long. If your balls start to feel funny (numb, cold etc.) take it off. Also, if you have cardiovascular problems or are taking blood thinning medications, you probably shouldn’t play around with one of these.

I met a guy about a month ago. We’ll call him Hotstuff.

I salivated when first I saw him. Tall, muscular beautiful eyes, all around gorgeousness.

He must have felt me ogling because he turned around abruptly and looked right at me. I tried quickly to change from the I’d-sure-rip-you-apart face I was undoubtedly making to a more normal one.

He walked up to me an introduced himself and we talked later on that day. He hailed from the Midwest, I, from the City. We discovered we both have a thing for dragons as demonstrated by the tattoos we’d chosen.

My coochie was jumping furiously. We went to the movies a week later, followed by a heavy make out session at my apartment. I behaved and sent him home but with a note to self that I’d hit that in the very near future.

Hotstuff and I hung out a couple times more and in that time one thing became painfully clear. Despite being smokin’ hot, Hotstuff needed a personality injection.

Pity. Good looks really only go so far.

So, still undecided on whether I’d play with Hotstuff, I called up Chuck.

Chuck and I had a wonderful conversation. We always do.

See, Chuck is only about half as hot as Hotstuff. Actually, he’s not hot at all. He’s what you’d call cute.

But his personality (a little too much personality at times) makes him twice as sexy as Hotstuff in my book.

So I decided to play with him instead.

And well…you know what happens next.

Warning: Try not discuss this topic when you’re in a crowded restaurant and people are eating in close proximity (also, if you’re squeamish about blood or otherwise easily grossed out, read no further).

The purpose of this post is twofold. One, to advocate for period sex, and two, to celebrate the thunderstorm of an ending to a dry spell that has lasted over half a year.

So I’m at brunch with Ms. Funky Brown and I start to tell her about the momentous occasion.

I met him at a party about a month ago and we hit it off instantly. Quick witted and quick tongued, his constant witty banter had me at hello.

Fast forward through weeks of long phonecalls and missed connections and finally we had a solid sex date.

I was taking my mommy to the movies and then I was to call him when I got home.

In the middle of the movie, my period came. Frustrated, I texted him. Let’s call him Chuck. “Change in plans”, I typed. “I have a visitor”.

Chuck’s reply?

“Why would that change anything? Call me when you get home”.

Woo hoo! A red sea diver! I’d hit the jackpot.

Hopes officially not dashed, I continued to watch the film.

I began to cramp and experience the variety of uncomfortable sensations that can go along with menstruation. By the end of the film I was in a good amount of pain and feeling decidedly un-sexy.

I called Chuck and told him the prospects for sex were again looking dim. “I told you, I’m not afraid of your Auntie,” he said sweetly. But I wasn’t feeling well and I told him as such. He said OK and asked if I just wanted company and maybe a massage. I really wasn’t feeling up for company but I’d already canceled on him once so I agreed.

He got to my apartment and used my shower. Then he snuggled up to me in the bed and we talked for a little while before he instructed me to spread a towel on the bed, turn off the light and remove my dress. What followed was the absolute best massage I’d ever received.

He wasn’t stingy. He expertly rubbed me for a good hour, maybe more. And it wasn’t a sexual, let-me-cop-free-feels kind of massage. It was easily on par with the kind of massage you’d pay a professional for (I told him he missed his calling and should have business cards printed immediately).

I felt so much better. My cramps had gone (plus he brought me some ibuprofen) and needless to say I’d begin to feel quite amorous after having my flesh kneaded so well.

And then without warning, Chuck went down on me.

I was using a tampon but still my first instinct was to pull away. He steadied me with his hands and stayed down there for what seemed like forever.

And I came.

I came in the hardest, meanest way.

Then Chuck flipped me over (and get this, pulled my tampon out himself) and we had the best sex I’ve had in God only knows how long. Phenomenal.

See. You can have positive experiences with menstrual sex.

Firstly, you need a special kind of partner for red day lovin’. This person must be open minded, not easily grossed out, and attentive. It’s got to be someone your comfortable with and someone who knows how to make you comfortable.

The best red sea divers understand that sex is primarily a mind thing and only secondarily physical.

Speaking of the physical, yes, the mechanics of period sex can be challenging, but there are also benefits.

Extra lubrication is the primary of these. I’m a big fan of the slip and slide (just think of it as red Babelube).

It can be easier to achieve orgasms (and BIG ones at that). And incidentally those orgasms can relieve cramping.

Plus, it can be a really sexy and self-esteem boosting experience to get so close with someone and actually be comfortable with your body during what is generally seen as an uncomfortable time.

Haven’t sold you?

Well then head on over to Ms. Funky Brown for the con side of the period debate.

I’m surprised that the majority of people are bothered by the whole sex during socks thing.

I never even gave it much thought until I ran across the poll.

Gee, I guess I was always to busy enjoying the sex itself to worry about whether or not to take my socks off (*resisting urge to make extremely corny joke*).

Yes socks are certainly counter productive if there’s foot worship involved but other than that I’d skip the socks debate and get to the more important stuff (like the actual sex).

It’s the 80/20 rule.

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I also admit that sometimes I feel cheated by futuristic movies like Bladerunner.

It’s the year 2008 already. Where are the flying cars? The push button houses?

Films like this certainly had me thinking the world would be a lot more… well… futuristic by now.

And then I came across this article and bit my tongue.

Well the upside is, you can now have everything you’ve always wanted in a man (and when you change your mind, you can change him too).

The downside is that he won’t exactly be a man, no matter how much he looks and acts like one (ahem, Bladerunner, and now I’m thinking all sorts of creepy thoughts that look like a cross between The Matrix and a bad porno).

I for one hope I’m never that hard up.

And I wonder what this implies for the future of sex workers.

Could the world’s oldest profession actually be rendered obsolete?

I’m really not big on the whole New Year’s resolution thing.

Working on self and life is a process and one that is best approached by taking baby steps.

At least that’s how it is for me.

I have some projects I’d like to see come to fruition this year.

But these haven’t been at the forefront of my mind the past couple days.

No, that would be sex.

My hormones have been positively raging since the breakup and I find myself feeling amorous at the most inopportune moments. And so in an effort to improve my sex life in the new year, (well after I get one of course- am I starting to sound bitter about this?) I’ve made some sexual resolutions.

1. Get some really nice new panties and sexy pajamas. Gives me an excuse to shop and I deserve to feel sexy, even and perhaps especially if there’s no man around.

2. Hold out longer. I know this sounds counterproductive because the idea is to have more sex but I’m focusing on quality not quantity. Sex is better when you really want a particular person and it is less so when you just cave in to biology and hop on the first available thing around.

3. Watch more porn. It inspires me. Ditto dirty books.

4. Get more comfortable with giving directions. A lover, after all, is just that and not a mind reader.

5. More butt play. This needs no explanation.

6. Get out more. This should have been first. Lovers don’t just show up at your doorstep (unless, of course, you order them).

7. Get some new toys. There are some higher end beauties I’ve been dying to try. No love like self love.

Have a happy, freaky, sexy,  kinky (but safe) New Year everyone!