baserinstincts

Cruelest of Ironies

So I’m newly (and happily, let me add enthusiastically) single.

The breakup saga will follow at a later date but first, an observation.

I have a libido.

Let me clarify here.

Having a libido, and a healthy one at that, has never, ever been my problem.

Until recently.

The relationship, and that’s how I’ll refer to it for now, was a hard one. Stressful and contentious pretty much from start to finish.

And in these last few months of it, my libido has all but disappeared. That isn’t in itself a surprise because we spent a good deal of time fighting.

Who wants to fuck when you’re fighting all the time?

I mean I know some people are into that, but not me.

Anyway it got to the point where I was really beginning to think something was wrong with me. Even all my friends seemed really concerned that my interest in sex had waned so much.

I tried changing my diet, getting more sleep, watching more porn, and whatever else I could think of but I could not bring myself to want to fuck my boyfriend.

Then he’d complain about the lack of sex and that would lead to more fights.

I know now of course, that the problem lay not in my diet, or sleep patterns or lack of attention to my porn collection but in him.

Well, in us.

It’s difficult, if not impossible, to muster any feelings of desire when you’re furious all the time. Or alternating between furious and intensely annoyed.

And so after much consideration and soul searching and second guessing and advice seeking, I dumped him.

And, I kid you not, the very minute the last of his things left my apartment, my libido returned in full force.

Oh the joy!

I can’t even concentrate on work, I’m thinking about sex so much. Any day now one of my coworkers is going to file a harassment complaint against me.

I could cry with relief.

Except…

Now I don’t have anyone to have sex with.

Ain’t that just a bitch?