Lamentations of Post-Breakup Cohabitation

by Desiree on January 27, 2008

Flashback.

The scene: my apartment, two weeks after the big break up, sometime back in November.

This post break up cohabitation has officially become unbearable.

After my onlining, I took a nice long hot shower and then turned on Dancing with the Stars.

I was feeling quite amourous especially since one of those male dancers was particularly hot. It was as good a time as any for my daily self loving episode.

So I dry off, plug in Mr. Hitachi,and get going.

I was having a blast, my arousal moving from a 3 to about a 6 in only a few minutes. And then… a rather angry banging on the door.

I looked over at my beloved BlackBerry (perpetually on silent) and see it lighting up. I swore loudly realizing it was Gus at the door.

The downstairs lock had been changed recently and I never bothered to cut him a copy of the new key because he was moving out in a couple of weeks anyway.

I pick up the phone to yell at him that I’m coming down to let him in. I usually unlock the door right before I know he’ll be arriving but this time he was home a full hour early.

I got up, got dressed and put away my electronic lover before going to let him in.

Fuck!

I can’t even masturbate in peace anymore.

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