Period Piece

Warning: Try not discuss this topic when you’re in a crowded restaurant and people are eating in close proximity (also, if you’re squeamish about blood or otherwise easily grossed out, read no further).

The purpose of this post is twofold. One, to advocate for period sex, and two, to celebrate the thunderstorm of an ending to a dry spell that has lasted over half a year.

So I’m at brunch with Ms. Funky Brown and I start to tell her about the momentous occasion.

I met him at a party about a month ago and we hit it off instantly. Quick witted and quick tongued, his constant witty banter had me at hello.

Fast forward through weeks of long phonecalls and missed connections and finally we had a solid sex date.

I was taking my mommy to the movies and then I was to call him when I got home.

In the middle of the movie, my period came. Frustrated, I texted him. Let’s call him Chuck. “Change in plans”, I typed. “I have a visitor”.

Chuck’s reply?

“Why would that change anything? Call me when you get home”.

Woo hoo! A red sea diver! I’d hit the jackpot.

Hopes officially not dashed, I continued to watch the film.

I began to cramp and experience the variety of uncomfortable sensations that can go along with menstruation. By the end of the film I was in a good amount of pain and feeling decidedly un-sexy.

I called Chuck and told him the prospects for sex were again looking dim. “I told you, I’m not afraid of your Auntie,” he said sweetly. But I wasn’t feeling well and I told him as such. He said OK and asked if I just wanted company and maybe a massage. I really wasn’t feeling up for company but I’d already canceled on him once so I agreed.

He got to my apartment and used my shower. Then he snuggled up to me in the bed and we talked for a little while before he instructed me to spread a towel on the bed, turn off the light and remove my dress. What followed was the absolute best massage I’d ever received.

He wasn’t stingy. He expertly rubbed me for a good hour, maybe more. And it wasn’t a sexual, let-me-cop-free-feels kind of massage. It was easily on par with the kind of massage you’d pay a professional for (I told him he missed his calling and should have business cards printed immediately).

I felt so much better. My cramps had gone (plus he brought me some ibuprofen) and needless to say I’d begin to feel quite amorous after having my flesh kneaded so well.

And then without warning, Chuck went down on me.

I was using a tampon but still my first instinct was to pull away. He steadied me with his hands and stayed down there for what seemed like forever.

And I came.

I came in the hardest, meanest way.

Then Chuck flipped me over (and get this, pulled my tampon out himself) and we had the best sex I’ve had in God only knows how long. Phenomenal.

See. You can

have positive experiences with menstrual sex.

Firstly, you need a special kind of partner for red day lovin’. This person must be open minded, not easily grossed out, and attentive. It’s got to be someone your comfortable with and someone who knows how to make you comfortable.

The best red sea divers understand that sex is primarily a mind thing and only secondarily physical.

Speaking of the physical, yes, the mechanics of period sex can be challenging, but there are also benefits.

Extra lubrication is the primary of these. I’m a big fan of the slip and slide (just think of it as red Babelube).

It can be easier to achieve orgasms (and BIG ones at that). And incidentally those orgasms can relieve cramping.

Plus, it can be a really sexy and self-esteem boosting experience to get so close with someone and actually be comfortable with your body during what is generally seen as an uncomfortable time.

Haven’t sold you?

Well then head on over to Ms. Funky Brown for the con side of the period debate.

Tagged as: period sex