baserinstincts

When Your Ex Reads Your Blog

I recently discovered that my ex boyfriend subscribes to this feed.

Hi A.

At first, I felt kinda funny about this.

It’s a complicated thing being a writer, especially without the cover of anonymity.

You’re tempted to censor yourself when you know that people you know, people you are close with or were once close with, will read what you write.

People act differently around you and toward you when they know there is a possiblity you’ll write about them.

Do you tailor your expression to make others comfortable?

Or do you stay true to your voice and your thoughts and your feelings no matter what?

No matter who you may piss off and who you may alienate?

Do you contantly issue disclaimers? Give a head’s up? Ask permission?

Case in point.

Chuck stumbled onto this post.

The post was complimentary enough. I didn’t go into great detail, but more than implied his sexual prowess.

What every guy wants to hear right?

But I called him an asshole in the comments.

He bristled. “I’m an asshole,” he asked, pretending to be wounded.

“You pissed me off the day I wrote that,” I answered.

“Oh. Well you should go back and write an addendum.”

But why should I?

It’s what I was feeling at the time. If I went back and said “ok folks, I take it back. Chuck’s not an asshole,” then I’m only cheating myself out of expressing what I want to express.

It was such a ridiculous request because no one knows Chuck. His identitity is know only to him and myself so it’s not like people are going to walk down the street pointing and say, “Look! there goes Chuck, the asshole!”

Not to mention that Chuck certainly does not have creative liscense over what I write. If he’s concerned about his online image, he should start his own blog.

And besides, I’m not wholly convinced that he’s not an asshole.The jury’s still out on that one.

I know that you leave yourself open for all kinds of shit when you put yourself out there, especially putting your business on the net where all the world can read.

But even so, this is my space. A safe space.

I’ll continue to write. People will continue to read.

Or not.

My advice: Don’t like what I’m saying? Don’t click through.